Change we can believe in

This weekend I visited a relative whose political opinions and social attitudes are diametrically opposed to mine. Our conversations usually devolve into defensive shouting matches. This time I was determined to keep it pleasant, ignore the traps, and not react. My husband did not think I was capable of resisting, and declined to accompany me. With helpful reminders from a borrowed Buddhist meditation CD, I was successful in my goal of just observing my discomfort and being present in the moment instead trying to fix my feelings by fixing him. The change in my own behavior was so freeing that, listening to the CD again on the way home, I decided, why yes, perhaps I would like to become an “aspiring warrior Bodhisattva”, having only just heard the phrase yesterday afternoon.

Although our political opinions were so different, I was able to agree with some of my host’s declarations. We both do not trust the Democratic Party. [He thinks they are socialist as reflected in their primary campaign statements; I think they are fascist as reflected in their legislative votes.] We both think that the Constitution has been virtually scrapped and that Washington is heading for totalitarian territory. [Of course, I have thought this 8 years longer than he has.] It was interesting to have a right wing worshipper of the likes of Limbaugh, Palin, and Beck validating some of my perceptions. Yet he denies that global warming is induced by human activity; he used the word ni**er more than once; and he believes there is enough untapped oil in the U.S. to keep our non-negotiable way of life going forever. He was passionately dissatisfied with the general concept of government-financed health care yet specifically satisfied with his Medicare.

When I compare my rightwing relative to 'progressives' active in the Democratic Party and in environmental movements, I cannot say that they suffer less cognitive dissonance. They think that a Democratic Party -endorsed healthcare plan written by insurance companies will improve health coverage. Green-washing seems to be the widespread accepted response to our dire climatological situation. They’d rather try to grow oyster spat off their polluted dock and buy a fifteenth purse [made from recycled plastic!] than ride public transport or stop shopping for accessories; they’d rather purchase imported organic out-of-season produce than help start a neighborhood vegetable garden.

Like their counterparts on the right, liberal activists think that casting a vote, writing a letter, signing a petition, or attending a short protest rally [on a Saturday] will influence a politician. The war-profiteering lies and Wall Street -induced class warfare, which evoked their outrage under the Bush Administration, continue now under their beloved President Obama without much protest. Liberal Democrats are patiently and politely waiting for their party leader to honor those peace-and-justice-sounding promises that inspired them to work so doggedly hard for his campaign.

My ego tells me to point out their error [or worse: gloat ‘I told you so!’]. But they don’t need me to make sense of delayed political gratification. Rather than criticize their hero, I could just observe their trusting passivity and gradual disillusionment. I could just stay present with my discomfort - and theirs - without trying to fix either. As with my conservative relative, I could just look for and validate points of agreement in their statements. In this way, I will not distract either of us from our respective paths of enlightenment.

“May all sentient beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness. May we be free of suffering and the root of suffering. May we not be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering. May we dwell in the great equanimity free from passion, aggression, and prejudice.” Namaste.